Up, Up, and Away: In More Ways Than One

So, in a reverse twist of fate, today started great and I thought I was on my way to one of the smoothest day-trips yet. But then it just wouldn't be a Shannon weekend, would it?

Before I get to the soul-crushing, mind-numbing experience taking place in the PM, I will first recount my quite lovely AM.

Deciding to leave a little earlier than usual to get in the entire agenda for the day, I took off at about 9:30 for Xindian, the southernmost MRT stop in Taipei County and the destination that I had postponed last weekend. I was looking to hike up Lion's Head Mountain, an incredibly steep mountain noted for the picturesque views it gave of the city. I made it, and it was so worth it.

Aside from the small detours (realizing I was one street over, asking help to find the hidden entrance), the hiking went relatively smoothly. It was absolutely beautiful walking through the mountain and very peaceful. I didn't see many people in transit, but there were a surprising number of elderly people at the top. (And this was a steep climb. I was super impressed.) Many just hiked up for the view so they could sit on a bench and gaze over the city, while others found a somewhat secluded place to engage in their tai chi. Whatever the reason, it was a very peaceful place and I could have just walked around there all day if I had time and my legs weren't incessantly shaking from the initial climb. Here are some videos of the bird's-eye view: short and long.

The beginning of the hike. The paved road was quite short-lived.

One thing I like about hiking in new places is all the vegetation I've never seen before.

One of many pictures I took of surrounding Taipei on top of Lion Head's Mountain. Whew!

Me, with Taipei in the background.

Me, descending the mountain on my hike. Yes, my sweat was sweating.

After an hour or so of that, I returned to the MRT station to board a bus to Wulai, an old aborigine town noted for its rice candy and hand-woven cloth, popular with domestic and international tourists alike.

The main street of Wulai.

One of Wulai's main specialities, seasoned rice in bamboo (竹筒飯 - zhu tong fan).

Wulai is a fun little town. It has a main street with shops containing special foods, mainly the noted specialties of the region, and various shops with indigenous cloth and other non-mainstream clothing places. After passing through the lower main street, visitors can traverse a bridge and hop on a small tram train that takes them further up the mountain to catch a glimpse of the famous and gorgeous Wulai Falls. And if that isn't enough, one can purchase a ticket to take a cable car over the waterfall to a park and resort at the top. I engaged in all three options, and all were well worth it.

The train-tram I took to a higher part of the mountain.

Wulai Falls at its finest.

The cable car going from midway up the mountain to above Wulai Falls. Yup, I rode in that sucker.

Me, after disembarking from the cable car with the waterfall in the background.

One of the many parks above the waterfall embedded in the mountain, which also included a hotel and a family-friendly resort area. A bunch of these bridges were in place in addition to other contraptions, I'm guessing to stimulate the aboriginal way of life.

I absolutely love this picture. In the vicinity of shopping malls, I have seen so many Taiwanese girls in short shorts and high heels, with their boyfriends carrying all their bags. I have come to realize the concept of 'whipped' knows no boundaries. Now, this guy has had enough and is making his girlfriend do some work. Brilliant!

The tram disembarks on another small road where one can shop, and I wandered into a store specializing in some beautiful cloth pieces, from purses to scarves to table runners and more. I ended up buying a few small pieces at a decent price and I was very interested in one of the bigger items, but it was just too expensive. The lady trying to sell me this stuff said 'Oh, keshi hen pialoliang. Ni zai Taipei bu neng mai.' (Oh, they're very pretty, you can't buy them in Taipei.)

Don't you piaoliang me, lady. I said, 'Yes, I agree with you, they are very pretty.' After her pressuring me repeatedly (one part of the culture I'm not enamored with), I finally made my exit and said I would think about it and maybe come back later. Translation: not. I had just purchased about $45 US of merchandise from her, and I think it would have been polite to back off. But not here. If there's even the faintest interest, it's push, push, push.

One storefront selling aboriginal clothing.

After taking the train, shopping on the upper side, riding the cable car, and visiting the park at the top, I made my way back down the mountain to head out and stop by the initial stores I passsed on the main street on the way in. I was kind of hungry because I didn't really have lunch, so I stopped by one place on a whim and asked for some vegetables. Stupid, stupid whim.

One of many food vendors on the street. I thought this was tofu at first, but in reality I think it's some custardy-jiggly-dessert-type thing.

Mushrooms, anyone?

All they gave me were a bunch of stir-fried veggies with some trace strips of pork. I waited until Xindian Station to eat it, gobbled it up, and got on my way. I wasn't feeling great by Taipei Main Station (about the halfway point) and with each successive stop to Kunyang my condition was getting worse and worse. In 20 minutes I went from a mere 'slightly uncomfortable' to 'I need to get off this train at all costs right now.' I knew something was definitely not right.

I was so close to Kunyang that I just kept telling myself, 'Almost there, Shannon. You can do it. Just hold it. Almost there. Almost there.' God apparently hates me, because in between the second-to-last stop and Kunyang, the train just randomly stopped. It never had before, at least the numerous times I have been on it, and a message appeared saying, 'Please remain patient. We are experiencing an unexpected stop.'

I thought I was absolutely going to lose it, in every sense of the phrase. I was positive I was going to throw up in my bags on the train. With each passing second, my head was becoming lighter, my legs number, and my entire being all-around dizzier. The train doors finally opened upon reaching Kunyang, and I rushed out, desperate to get to a bathroom. In doing so I somehow blacked out while standing up but was somehow still conscious of it because I think I completely broadsided a couple of kids and their mom, and I felt myself put my arm out on them to be stabilized, and then I heard their voices. After that all was a blur and my legs started to go like a farm animal with mad cow disease. I could tell people were looking at me, but no one was doing anything to help, probably because they didn't know what was going on, but also because in Taiwan, the general attitude is if it doesn't directly affect you, it's not your problem. I grabbed the wall, unscrewed my water bottle and downed some liquid (despite all the rules against food and drink, I think this classified as a major exception), and sat for a few seconds. I then struggled to make up the escalator to the bathroom and when I finally did, all hell broke loose.

After 25-30 minutes in the stall, I felt reassured I wasn't dying, and proceeded to hurry home as fast as possible. In doing so, I stopped at 7-11 to get a Diet Coke and Mentos, which are the only things that sounded remotely appealing at that point. In addition, I wanted to go to get a plastic bag in case an unfortunate incident occurred on the bus, seeing as I was down to only one bag and it was absolutely stuffed with merchandise. My plan was to be in, out, and on my way.

When I arrived, there was somewhat of a line, but I needed that bag, so I was going to do whatever it took. When I got to the counter, the slouch of a checker just kind of looked at me. He hesitated and had an unspoken air of, ‘You know, that’ll be yi kuai.’

OHMYGOD I KNOW IT’S ONE KUAI SO JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING BAG OR I WILL PLUCK YOUR EYEBALLS OUT WITH MY CHOPSTICKS!!!

Whew, deep breath, I told mysef. What Would Buddha Do?

I am now home and proud to say no messes were made on Bus #270. However, I'm sliding back into the bad zone, and I will be ecstatic if I get any sleep tonight. I hope it's just food poisoning and not something worse, although I've never had such reactions like that to food poisoning before. In the meantime, I'll be bonding with my blanket and pillow on the cold linoleum floor, waiting for my inner toxins to be extricated from my being.