Veggie Tales

I can no longer be called an asparagus juice virgin.

What, you say? Asparagus juice? You must be joking. Why not make mushroom slurpees or cabbage shakes?

Shhhhh. No suggestions. They'll hear you.

I actually first experienced this marvel Thursday during our museum trip. Hot and thirsty on one of our many 7-11 stops, I was perusing the drink aisle, ready to get some tea, when I noticed a carton with green vegetables. I looked at Ping and Andy and before I could ask, they said, 'Yes, asparagus.'

'Hao he ma?' I asked. They nodded. 'You should try it,' they said.

So I did. It wasn't the worst thing I'd ever had, but most definitely not the best, either. I figured a little sugar must have been added to make it bearable. With many foods we have an initial adverse reaction to, we can get more acclimated to the flavor over time, and after it has all been consumed, sometimes we daresay we liked the questionable flavors. Too bad this stuff has the opposite effect.

Tonight, after feeling great from a hard workout, I wasn't very hungry, but needed to find some nutrients for my body somehow living in the midst of this rice-and-noodle-laden society. As I persued the local 'OK' convenience shop, there it was, in all its green glory, staring at me. I ended up purchasing this gem of a creation more for nutritional value than taste. Actually, solely for nutritional value, really. I figured hey, it can't be that hard to get down. Just think of what it will do for my chi!

Well, I'm now 2/3 of the way through the carton, and my chi isn't doing so hot. My face is starting to resemble the color of the container. I don't know if I can make it. All I can say is if I can tough it out, I better feel awesome tomorrow.

Because if not, all I will have is weird-smelling pee. And that's just sad.